Mindset cues for feeling no approach anxiety with women.
So, the first post! Lets start things of with something every guy struggles with no matter how much he likes to think he doesn't: APPROACHING WOMEN.
Picture the scene.. you're walking down the street, minding your own.. as a beautiful woman walks past and your heart falls down to your left foot and the butterflies in your stomach turn you into a walking marshmallow.
When this happens, don't you wish you had the courage to say something whitty and intelligent instead of what (speaking from experience) you come out with 'ggghhehhlowww, name Ollie, be friend'.
What I struggle with in this situation is the idea that I am:
1) interrupting her day
2) speaking to her 'without her permission'
3) running out of things to say before I have opened my mouth
4) not good enough for her
5) being looked at by everyone around
Simple mindset cues can be a savior in this situation to help you get the courage to stand your ground and start a normal conversation like a self confident alpha male.
Actively accept and embrace the awkwardness
The first cue for overcoming approach anxiety seems counter intuitive (I know, long word) but is the most authentic.
This may take a longer time to take any effect because it is more 'in your head' that other methods, however, the acceptance of awkwardness and fear desensitizes the brain into thinking that this situation is not going to hurt you and that you are safe.
To get (very very slightly) technical, this fear that arises when you approach a woman is part of our 'fight, flight or freeze' response. All you have to do is welcome and endure the awkwardness for the first few approaches and you will start to notice serious results.
Tip 1 summary: Love and welcome the fear that comes along with the approach.
No one cares! Not a single person, nope, not one, not even half a person
A tip that really resonated with me when I discovered it was the idea of the 'bigger picture'.
We, as humans, want to believe that we are the centre of the whole universe and each move we make is being judged by the big man like 'oooo, Ollie, you got rejected, DAAAAMNNNN'. This just isn't true.
So, at the time of writing this, there are around 3,754,452,284 billion women in the world (give or take a couple, I'm not Jesus) and just think about how many of them are engaged in awkward conversations with a guy right now where both of them feel just as nervous as each other.
In short, women feel just as nervous as men do, its just that they are not expected to approach men.
Tip 2 summary: Be present to the moment, no one cares what you are getting right/wrong, other than your ego.
Picture the scene.. you're walking down the street, minding your own.. as a beautiful woman walks past and your heart falls down to your left foot and the butterflies in your stomach turn you into a walking marshmallow.
When this happens, don't you wish you had the courage to say something whitty and intelligent instead of what (speaking from experience) you come out with 'ggghhehhlowww, name Ollie, be friend'.
What I struggle with in this situation is the idea that I am:
1) interrupting her day
2) speaking to her 'without her permission'
3) running out of things to say before I have opened my mouth
4) not good enough for her
5) being looked at by everyone around
Simple mindset cues can be a savior in this situation to help you get the courage to stand your ground and start a normal conversation like a self confident alpha male.
Actively accept and embrace the awkwardnessThe first cue for overcoming approach anxiety seems counter intuitive (I know, long word) but is the most authentic.
This may take a longer time to take any effect because it is more 'in your head' that other methods, however, the acceptance of awkwardness and fear desensitizes the brain into thinking that this situation is not going to hurt you and that you are safe.
To get (very very slightly) technical, this fear that arises when you approach a woman is part of our 'fight, flight or freeze' response. All you have to do is welcome and endure the awkwardness for the first few approaches and you will start to notice serious results.
Tip 1 summary: Love and welcome the fear that comes along with the approach.
No one cares! Not a single person, nope, not one, not even half a person
A tip that really resonated with me when I discovered it was the idea of the 'bigger picture'.
We, as humans, want to believe that we are the centre of the whole universe and each move we make is being judged by the big man like 'oooo, Ollie, you got rejected, DAAAAMNNNN'. This just isn't true.
So, at the time of writing this, there are around 3,754,452,284 billion women in the world (give or take a couple, I'm not Jesus) and just think about how many of them are engaged in awkward conversations with a guy right now where both of them feel just as nervous as each other.
In short, women feel just as nervous as men do, its just that they are not expected to approach men.
Tip 2 summary: Be present to the moment, no one cares what you are getting right/wrong, other than your ego.
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